A while back I mentioned that I read Dean Koontz’s “Hideaway.” This book is yet another entry in his pantheon of mediocre horror fiction. There is an interesting author’s comment at the end which noted that the book was made into a film starring Jeff Goldblum and Alicia Silverstone. Interestingly, and rather boldly, Koontz was quite open in his condemnation for the film and he openly cringed at the various details and characters that had been changed from his book.
Now, even though I found the book quite forgettable, I’ve, ever since reading it, had an interest in seeing the film. Last night I discovered that it could be found in a collection of free movies available from my cable company so I checked it out. And it was quite awful. Not only was the plot, dialogue and pacing of the film insipid, but the film was rather shoddily made. For instance, there’s a scene when a knife goes into the chest of a certain character. However, the viewer could clearly see that it it was some kind of rubber knife that folded upon being rammed into the characters flesh. At a later point, Jeff Goldblum’s character drives his car up to a certain spot, and as the car moves closer, you can see a shadow of the head of one of the film crew cast against the fender. I mean, we’re talking amateur fresh-out-of-film-school type mistakes.
So, if you’re like me and take pleasure in seeing others fail, you might enjoy this movie.
Whatever happened to Alicia Silverstone anyway?
I remember when that Movie came out and was widely mocked for being one of the worst Movies of the year. And then nobody but nobody went to see it. Everybody was making “Hideaway” jokes. “Hideaway” jokes became a National craze, all over America people were going to “Hideaway” Joke Nights in local bars where everybody competed to see who could make the meanest “Hideaway” jokes. Many of our most popular Comedians – Wil Ferrell, Denis Leary, Chris Rock, to just name a few – began their careers by getting onstage and telling “Hideaway” jokes. Next time you’re in a Used Record Store look for my old Comedy album “Jeff Goldblum Screwed Up!” featuring all my best “Hideaway” bits. Yeah, my act was killer during the “Hideaway” craze but when it faded and people wanted more from a Comic than bits about an obscure Movie that no one remembered . . . Aw, shit!
And don’t forget Iggy’s horrible song “Hideaway” . . .
I can hear children’s voices ringing in a yard
When I hear children’s voices my feelings aren’t so hard
Hey, kids! Tell Iggy to shut the fuck up!
I bet when he hears children’s voices his penis IS HARD!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Cuz he’s a child molesting PERVERT!
That’s awful.