I was out for a walk today and noticed the high volume of people with children. This started me thinking and how little interest I have in having children. And from there I started contemplating people who have children only to discover what a burden they are. I started thinking that modern civilization would do well to adopt some of the ideas of certain preagricultural societies. In these societies, a child is not really a person until they have passed through certain rites. I propose that in modern society we should be given the right to rescind the birth of a child for up to three years of that child’s life. You have the kid, and if you decide it’s not working out, you have a grace period during which you can take the kid to the local vet and have he or she put to sleep.

From there I was thinking it might be nice to allow people to take the bodies of their “rescinded” children to taxidermists so that they could have their bodies stuffed and mounted for display. This practice would have the added bonus of helping instill discipline in any future children. You could say to your kid, “Johnny, remember how we told you that Timmy never put away his toys? Do you want to end up next to him in the corner of the living room?”

I guess this is another one of my great ideas which will never see the light of day.