I had a pretty weird dream last night.

Before I get into it, I should reiterate that I’ve been reading Candace Pert’s “Molecules of Emotion.” Part of what the book explores are instances where people take conscious control of body processes that are largely unconscious. An example might be yogis who consciously mute their sense of pain and walk on burning coals.

So in my dream, I was flying, which wasn’t all that amazing (for a dream.) But then I had this idea, inspired by Pert’s book, that I could take conscious control of all my sensory input, and literally create an alternate reality to live in — ideally a reality populated by totally hot, naked babes who all wanted to have sex with me. So I set about attempting to mentally re-create this reality, and, in the dream world, I did have an almost nirvana like experience. I had these kind of waves of pleasure circulating, and I was able to, at least sporadically, cause visual hallucinations.

I wonder if such a thing could be possible, in reality. It seems like a worthwhile goal to dedicate my life to.

But wait! What if I’ve already achieved this goal, and my current life is a series of hallucinations caused by conscious control of my sensory input? Maybe I’m already “living the dream,” so to speak. Maybe you, the loyal my so-called penis reader, are simply a figment of my imagination.