Pathological altruism

This science article in New York Times about the dangers of taking altruistic behavior to the extreme caught my eye. I, of course, have long decried altruism. The weak should not have a helping hand extended to them. Rather, they should be castigated for their weakness, and then crushed. While the article doesn’t take things to that level, it does argue that some altruistic behavior is pathological.

Yet the spectral empaths will express no desires of their own. “They try to hide their needs or deny their needs or pretend their needs don’t exist,” Dr. Bachner-Melman went on. “They barely feel they have the right to exist themselves.” They apologize for themselves, for the hated, hollow self, by giving, ceaselessly giving.

In therapy they are reminded that to give requires that first one must have. “It’s like in an airplane,” Dr. Bachner-Melman said. “The parents must put on the oxygen mask first, not because they’re more important, but if the parents can’t breathe, they can’t help the child.”

Denial and mental compartmentalization also characterize people who stay in abusive relationships, who persuade themselves that with enough self-sacrifice and fluttering indulgence their beloved batterer or drunken spouse will reform. Extreme sensory denial defines the practice of animal hoarding, in which people keep far more pets than they can care for — dozens, scores, hundreds of cats, rodents, ferrets, turtles.

Ironically, it seems that it is the altruists — individuals who feel it is their duty to help those weaker than them — who are themselves weak. And thus should be crushed. (By the way, my advice for parents on an airplane is to first put on your oxygen mask, then laugh as your child begs and pleads for you to aid them with theirs.)

2 thoughts on “Pathological altruism

  1. John Saleeby

    Steve Jobs never gave a penny to charity and now they’re telling us he was the Greatest Guy That Ever Lived. I’ll never tip again! And as soon as I patent Fart Smelling Play Doh I’ll be bigger than he ever was!

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