Republican New Jersey state senate candidate Phil Mitsch recently got himself in hot water when he tweeted that “Women, you increase your odds of keeping your men by being faithful, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.”

Of course, this is exactly the kind of backwards, Neanderthal thinking we’ve come to expect from Republicans. If a woman wants to keep her man, she should be a whore in every room in the house! And the backyard. And the car. And the public bathrooms at Starbucks.

Thus I have spoken, and thus it shall be.