Wiener Day

I have to say, I’m greatly disappointed in the public response to the Anthony Wiener situation. The man sent pictures of his penis over the Internet to a private citizen. So what? This has nothing to do with the fact that he’s been a very capable politician and representative of his district.

I’m doubly disappointed by the lack of support from his fellow Democratic lawmakers. There seems to be a universal attempt to create distance between Wiener and his fellow Democrats. Now is the time that Democrats should be doubling down in their support for Wiener. I argue that every Democratic politician should take pictures of their genitalia and place it on the Internet. If one man does it, it’s a crime. But how can Wiener be prosecuted if the Internet is deluged by pictures of Democratic penises and vaginas?

Of course, support from his fellow lawmakers is not the only thing needed to save Wiener. Rank and file Democrats need to get into the battle. I propose that June 10 be labeled “Wiener Day.” On this day, Democrats can identify themselves and their support for Wiener by walking around with their genitalia exposed through the crotch of their pants (you see this quite often in pornography.) The message would be clear: if you’ve got a problem with penises, then you’ve got a problem with me! If a Democrat whose genitalia is exposed finds himself or herself in conversation with a person who is looking away, or trying to pretend they don’t see said genitalia, then I would argue the Democrats should grab that person by the scruff of her neck and force their face into the sexual protuberance.

I think this effort would have one very predictable effect. Republicans would decry the public display of penises and genitalia, but they would also feel that their manhood was being questioned. Shadowy insinuations would fly that Republican penises are smaller. As such, I think you would soon, um, members of both parties hanging free in the wind.

This is the only way we can move forward as a country.

2 Responses to “Wiener Day”

  1. John Saleeby

    Somebody make a joke about Anne Coulter sending people pictures of her penis. That would go over really well.

  2. Alexander7

    Need cheap generic LEVITRA?…