Fat girls do it better

Feminists and assorted scum often make the point that what is considered attractive for a female body will change depending on era and culture. For instance, they would say that chubbier bodies were more attractive in the Middle Ages when everyone was starving and the ability to eat more than a paltry meal was reserved for the rich few. And on this point, I think feminists are right. Within a certain range, it seems like tastes about the human form fluctuate.

So I was watching “Law And Order: Los Angeles” a couple nights ago, and one of these Kardashian chicks was on playing herself. My first thought, upon seeing her rather rotund chunky form, was “what a cow!” Then, today I started thinking about how everyone gives Britney Spears a hard time, but the fact is that she managed to combine impressive dancing, singing and good pop hooks and that’s more difficult than most people presume it to be. And, I thought, she was pretty attractive until she get fat. And then it occurred to me that her getting fat might not have been a bad move, since, Americans themselves are getting much fatter and they probably want to see a little bit of themselves (or, in this case, a lot of themselves) in their pop idols.

From there, I started thinking about the fact that American women really have gotten noticeably fatter in my lifetime. And, I can’t deny that I find fatter women more attractive than I did when I was 18. Now, this might be partly because as I get more older, I get more desperate. (“When you ain’t got nobody, everybody looks good,” Tom Waits sang.) But I also think there’s an element of the classic Hannibal Lecter logic: “you covet what is around you.” When I was 18, women were, generally speaking, thinner and larger chicks were rarity, like a bearded platypus woman in the freak show display. Now they seem to be the majority and their ample fleshy forms offer a certain arousal. There might even be some kind of interesting evolutionary logic at work: the brain decides it better be attracted to the kinds of women around it, or else there’s little chance of your genes being passed on.

The presumption was that it took decades if not centuries for the cultural image of female bodies to change. I would argue that in the information age, we are experiencing culture on overdrive. There could even be a fat Singularity* occurring: women get bigger, subsequently men become more attracted to bigger women, thus women get even bigger and the cycle continues, snowballing, until the average woman is a 3000 pound bulbous burlap sack of lard. Imagine meeting such a woman, copulating with her and having her literally explode in your arms, fist sized balls of marshmallow fat splattering against the walls of your bedroom. This may be the future for humanity.

* I’m referring to futurist Ray Kurzweil’s theory that technological progression will occur faster and faster until it will literally outpace history.

4 Responses to “Fat girls do it better”


  1. John Saleeby

    There are fat girls and then there are FAT girls. And don’t forget, fat girls will eventually be FAT girls.

    Ever had a really hot sexy beautiful girlfriend? They ruin your Life because once you have had one you can never settle for less attractive women. And what are the odds of having a second really hot sexy beautiful girlfriend? Who are you? Rod Stewart? Well, yeah, you have had fifty gallons of semen pumped out of your stomach, but . . . And, yeah, you were the lead singer of the Small Faces, but . . . Oh, sorry about your daughter getting knocked up by that Mexican guy who was in “Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas”. That’s fucked up.

  2. Ahole

    that’s funny, because I am very attracted to bigger girls now. not insane obese, but fat girls who I would’ve shunned as a young one because I was trained to think girls must only look like super models to be attractive.
    who knows, desperation could play a small role, but I do actually prefer slightly bigger girls to rail-thin ones.

  3. John Saleeby

    GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIIIIDE!!!

  4. John Saleeby

    When I was a kid – Before I went through puberty – I thought skinny chicks were really hot. The first girl I ever asked out was a cute little skinny chick. Now I don’t give skinny women a second look – Which probably kills them, I have no doubt. But I loved Uma Thurman in “Pulp Fiction” and that skinny little “Ally McBeal” girl. But I’m not into fat chicks.