Feminists and assorted scum often make the point that what is considered attractive for a female body will change depending on era and culture. For instance, they would say that chubbier bodies were more attractive in the Middle Ages when everyone was starving and the ability to eat more than a paltry meal was reserved for the rich few. And on this point, I think feminists are right. Within a certain range, it seems like tastes about the human form fluctuate.

So I was watching “Law And Order: Los Angeles” a couple nights ago, and one of these Kardashian chicks was on playing herself. My first thought, upon seeing her rather rotund chunky form, was “what a cow!” Then, today I started thinking about how everyone gives Britney Spears a hard time, but the fact is that she managed to combine impressive dancing, singing and good pop hooks and that’s more difficult than most people presume it to be. And, I thought, she was pretty attractive until she get fat. And then it occurred to me that her getting fat might not have been a bad move, since, Americans themselves are getting much fatter and they probably want to see a little bit of themselves (or, in this case, a lot of themselves) in their pop idols.

From there, I started thinking about the fact that American women really have gotten noticeably fatter in my lifetime. And, I can’t deny that I find fatter women more attractive than I did when I was 18. Now, this might be partly because as I get more older, I get more desperate. (“When you ain’t got nobody, everybody looks good,” Tom Waits sang.) But I also think there’s an element of the classic Hannibal Lecter logic: “you covet what is around you.” When I was 18, women were, generally speaking, thinner and larger chicks were rarity, like a bearded platypus woman in the freak show display. Now they seem to be the majority and their ample fleshy forms offer a certain arousal. There might even be some kind of interesting evolutionary logic at work: the brain decides it better be attracted to the kinds of women around it, or else there’s little chance of your genes being passed on.

The presumption was that it took decades if not centuries for the cultural image of female bodies to change. I would argue that in the information age, we are experiencing culture on overdrive. There could even be a fat Singularity* occurring: women get bigger, subsequently men become more attracted to bigger women, thus women get even bigger and the cycle continues, snowballing, until the average woman is a 3000 pound bulbous burlap sack of lard. Imagine meeting such a woman, copulating with her and having her literally explode in your arms, fist sized balls of marshmallow fat splattering against the walls of your bedroom. This may be the future for humanity.

* I’m referring to futurist Ray Kurzweil’s theory that technological progression will occur faster and faster until it will literally outpace history.