Cure impotence with spider venom!

Well, I haven’t posted an all penis Friday in a while, but I recently came across this interesting tidbit: spider venom could be used in impotence treatment.

A trove of potential drugs for conditions as diverse as impotence and arthritis could emerge from a study of venom from a potentially deadly spider.

Such news is of little interest to someone packing a granite missile, such as myself, but perhaps some readers will find hope. How exactly is it possible that spider venom could turn flaccid Frank into rockhard Ricky?

Prof Frank Schroeder and Prof Jerrold Meinwald of Cornell University, Ithaca, as reported in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, used a clever way to take a molecular snapshot of venom, without having to process it in any way.

They used a method called nuclear magnetic resonance spectroscopy, which studies the structure of molecules in the venom, and combined it with a method called mass spectrometry, which in effect weighs molecules.

“We show how using NMR spectroscopy for the analysis of a complex mixtures such as spider venom one can find new and entirely unexpected chemistry,” said Prof Schroeder.

“Our research shows that brown recluse venom contains important, previously undetected components that have been overlooked.”

Blah, blah, blah… Jesus Christ, only an egghead scientist could make the topic of using radioactive spider venom to give men 9 inch power schlongs sound so boring!

On an unrelated note, this link found on the same page, caught my eye: Teenage girl collapses and dies after first kiss.

3 Responses to “Cure impotence with spider venom!”


  1. John Saleeby

    Just thinking about Spider Venom in relation to my dick has me sporting a Woody.

  2. John Saleeby

    Hey, what the fuck is Jeff Beck doing performing with a little ol’ piece o’ nothin’ like Lee Ann Rimes at some dumb ass Hollywood party for Barbra Striesand’s old ass? He used to be in the fuckin’ YARDBIRDS for God’s sake! He’s in “BLOW UP” for further God’s sake! First Slash playing with the fuckin’ Black Eyed Peas and now this. I guess next thing Eddie Van Halen will be the new bandleader on “The Ellen Degeneres Show” while Brian May plays a talking chipmunk in the next Adam Sandler Movie. Hey, Jeff Beck – YOU’RE FUCKED UP!!!

  3. Wil

    Thank God Van Halen never did anything stupid like playing on a Michael Jackson album.