Recently, I’ve been reading some interesting text on how plants evolved various defense mechanisms to avoid being eaten (primarily by insects, but also other creatures.) The most obvious defense is for a plant to be poisonous. But plants can employ other strategies. They might be sticky so that bugs attempting to eat them get stuck and die of starvation. They might formulate some material that induces paralysis in creatures that eat them.

It becomes clear, when pondering this information, that plants are the greatest evil this planet has ever known. And I have a new appreciation for vegans. By focusing their food consumption strictly in plants, vegans are undoubtably killing more plants, and doing more than their share of ridding our society of the plant menace. I applaud their efforts.