Some may recall my concept of the digital vagabond. This is a person who essentially condenses as much of their life as they can down to a digital format, freeing themselves to be able to travel, untethered, as they please. They could digitize all their movies, books, work files, music and place them onto a laptop or tablet style computer. At that point, all that would really need to live would be a change of clothes, and some basic toiletries.

There is of course one concern about carrying all your files on a tablet computer. What if the computer gets stolen? It would really be ideal if the computer had some way of always authorizing who was using it. Now, it just occurred to me that since tablet computing is driven by touch, the computer could theoretically constantly served by the identity of the user via their fingerprints. Or, the computer could constantly be taking a camera view of the user and use face recognition technology.

Ideally, a tablet computer could be set so that if someone other than its owner attempted to use the computer, the tablet would release a stream of acid directly into the incorrect user’s face. Then, as that person screamed while their face melted off, the computer would take photographs of the process and post them on the web with a big warning that said “This is what happens to fuck jobs who try to use my computer.”