I’m gearing up for another international trip and am faced with a conundrum that many travelers must deal with: how do you protect your valuables, especially valuable documents? When you’re traveling, your passport is your lifeline as is a certain amount of cash. And these are exactly the items that thieves and faith want to steal from you.

I try to carry important documents and money in either a bag that I never let out my sight or in some kind of secret pocket. But it occurred to me today there’s a better way. For years, drug runners have placed valuable drugs in a balloon which they consume and eventually excrete. Why can’t someone design a little capsule in which you could place cash and a photocopy of your passport? You could then consume the capsule for safekeeping. You would excrete it after about thee or four days. If your trip runs longer, you could simply wash off the capsule and consume it again, cycling through the process as long as it takes. It could be called “Secure Colon (TM).”

Do I have to think of everything around here?