I just got an e-mail from some company that was offering to renew one of my web domains. The thing was, it wasn’t the company I actually use to take care of such matters. So I guess these guys just go through lists of websites and send e-mails to whoever owns a domain that is set to expire.

I started thinking about the people behind a company such as this. They probably think of themselves as basically good people. They don’t really ruminate on the fact that they’re making their living by essentially tricking money out of admittedly not-too-intelligent fools. I imagine they sleep okay at night.

They remind me a bit of telemarketers, or people who call you up and pester you for money for charities or politicians. They probably also think that, at the end of the day, they’re good people.

They are, in fact, utter scum. And it should be clear to any thinking person that these kinds of people should be wiped from the face of the earth, as brutally and painfully as possible. I’ve been doing a bit of thinking on this, and I think we can conclude that about 85% of humanity is fundamentally worthless and should be destroyed. Thus I’ve developed a plan by which a virus will be released into the air supply. This virus will infect heterosexual males and induce homosexual behavior on their part. Then I will release my army of Deathbots. Since the vast majority of mankind will at that point be nelly dandies, there will be very few men of the appropriate stature and stamina to be able to defend humanity. Thus my Deathbots will easily be able to wipe out about 85% of all mankind.

Now, I know what you’re saying. “Wil, why don’t you just stop after you release the virus that converts most men into homosexuals? This would doubtless result in massively lower breeding rates, and the human population would probably drop to somewhere around 15% of what it is within a generation.”

Hmmm… that’s not a bad point, actually. But… it’s just that I’ve already created the Deathbots. They’re basically hanging out in my bedroom raring to go. So I think I’m going to stick with plan A.

But, good thinking on your part.