I recall years ago when I was in high school and first learning to play guitar. I was talking with these other kids and they were talking about all this guitar gear – this effects pedal or that amp – and I didn’t get it. I remember thinking “why aren’t you talking about playing as opposed to gear?” To me the toys were of no interest beyond a certain utility; what was important was the skills.

And I’ve always been this way – largely disinterested in “stuff”, uninterested in what they call materialism. That’s because I am an enlightened individual, right? A serene soul who has surpassed the ego boosting need for glittering jewels?

But I go back to thinking about this Eckhart Tolle book and his point about “forms.” In his argument forms are things that can be actual objects, like a sports car, but also thoughts or concepts or knowledge or skills. And I am a great collector of skills – my guitar playing, my writing, my knowledge of neuroscience and psychology, my advanced cunniligus techniques – these are all things I use to boost my ego, to prove to the world that I am superior to those around me. And Tolle’s point would be that just as you can never have “enough” stuff – you’re always stuck wanting more and thus forever dissatisfied – you can never have enough skills. Someone is always better, knows more, thinks faster.

So if I’m not superior to everyone because of my lack of materialism or my vast abilities, why am I? It must be because of my incredibly long penis.