Biofeedback is an interesting therapeutic technique that’s been around for decades. As I understand it, electrodes or various monitoring tools are hooked up to a person’s skin, allowing patients to monitor specific facets of their body, such as whether a certain muscle is becoming tense or whether blood pressure is spiking etc. They can then practice specific relaxation techniques and get confirmation that those techniques are making a difference.

It strikes me that men have been employing a variation of this technique for centuries. Often a man will be having sex with a woman, and realize he is about to approach orgasm long before her. Since the dawn of time, men have utilized the practice of mentally reciting meaningless baseball statistics to “talk themselves down” from orgasm.

I’m wondering if the modern tools of biofeedback could be applied here. Let’s say you invite a lady friend over for dinner. After a succulent meal, you retire to the couch, each of you holding a glass of white wine. Candles flicker and light jazz plays on the stereo while your voices murmur quiet conversation. You lean forward to kiss her, her soft lips caressing yours. You reach into her blouse, past her bra, and rub warm, excited nipples. Her hand caresses your neck, her hot breath blows into your ear. Your red, pulsating member is engorged with life, pleasurably running against the inside of your pants. And then you hear it, a shrill robotic voice screeching…

“ALERT! ALERT! THE X 23400D MONITORING SYSTEM REPORTS IMMINENT ORGASM IN THREE MINUTES. SEXUAL EXCITEMENT MUST BE REDUCED! I REPEAT, SEXUAL EXCITEMENT MUST BE REDUCED!”

As a result, you are able to pace your sexual activities for both you and your partner. It’s a win-win.