Here’s a headline we always want to see: Huge asteroid headed for close encounter with Earth

Earth’s close encounter with Asteroid 2005 YU 55 will occur at 6:28 p.m. EST (2328 GMT) Tuesday, as the space rock sails about 201,000 miles from the planet.

While scientists think it’s unlikely the asteroid will hit Earth, they do recommend that teenage virgins, “really try to get laid this weekend, just to be on the safe side.”