I’ve long tracked reports arguing that substances presumed to be bad for you are actually good for you. There’s a new article in the LA Times arguing (yet again) that coffee — once presumed to be bad for the heart — is actually very good for the heart. And not just coffee — lots and lots of coffee!

A 2008 study of more than 26,000 male smokers in Finland found that the men who drank eight or more cups of coffee a day had a 23% lower risk of stroke than the men who drank little or no coffee. And a few other reports suggest the effect applies to healthy nonsmokers too. Researchers at UCLA and USC examined data on coffee consumption and stroke prevalence among more than 9,000 participants in the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey. At a 2009 conference, they reported that the likelihood of stroke was highest among people who didn’t drink coffee and lowest among those who drank the most coffee: 5% of people who drank one or two cups a day suffered strokes, whereas 2.9% of people who drank six or more cups suffered strokes.

It’s pretty obvious that they — the secret conglomerate of stern, nannying, anti-fun world leaders who have been controlling all societies since the dawn of time — have long been trying to convince us that what is good for us is actually bad for us. But their secret plot is starting to unravel. Soon we will realize that a healthy diet includes the copious consumption of coffee, alcohol, fried foods and child porn.