What day is it? I said, what day is it? That’s right! It’s all penis Friday!

Today’s news item focuses on the delicate art of Jamaican daggering. What is daggering you ask?

A quick search for ‘daggering’ videos reveals (too) much about the dancehall craze. The style involves men and women aggressively dry-humping each other on dance floors and somehow calling it a dance style.

I’ve never been much of a dancer, but I might change my tune. You would think there couldn’t possibly be a downside to aggressively dry humping other people in public, but daggering is responsible for an increase in broken penises.

Representatives of some hospitals yesterday revealed to THE STAR that more men have been breaking their penises in recent months than any other time in Jamaica.

Really? Even more than the great broken penis epidemic of 1857? That is bad news.

But here’s the most shocking part.

One specialist in the field told THE STAR that broken penises have been coming into the Cornwall Regional Hospital more than usual since the start of the year.

Imagine that. The poor little guys are just walking to the hospital all by themselves.