STEFAN JUDELMAN - THE MAN AND THE MYTH
By Wil Forbis
(Note: This was a piece I did during my brief foray at community college. The assignment was to write a profile on someone sitting next to us, I happened upon the lad who's name you see mentioned above. This piece has no value other than being humorous, but what more value does one need? Stefan, if you happen to read this, drop me a line. Hope you aren't pissed.)
Why it's none other than Stefan Judelman (Yoo-del-man). But who is Stefan Judelman... really? What lies behind the look of scholarly intent he wears? The soul of a gentle altruist... or the mind of a twisted, evil madman?
I talked to the lad recently, in an attempt to answer these and other pondesome questions. The day of our discussion was dreary and gloomy on the outside, but Stefan seemed unperturbed by this. "Are you from Seattle?" I queried him as we walked to a desk and several chairs to begin the interview. Yes, yes he was, he informed me. But, it turned out, he was not a regular S.C.C.C student. Nay, he was actually finishing up his last year at high school and was attending a sole college course through some sort educational program designed to encourage learning or some such nonsense. It seemed possible, I mused, that Stefan might be some sort of youthful genius, with cognitive powers on the level of Einstein, Madame Curie and other like-minded icons. "I must study him closer," I thought.
I like to begin my interviews with a question that will throw my subject off guard, as a way of extracting a more honest answer. In fact, in a recent interview with Babs Streisand, when I asked my standard opener, "What do you think of Looney Tunes?" she practically fell out of her chair. Stefan, however, remained calm and opted for a more serious answer. On the whole he enjoyed those televised treats, but felt at times they repeated the same joke material. This was especially true, he noted, in the Elmer Fudd vs. Bugs Bunny episodes. Still, the Daffy Duck stories were particularly good, Stefan then observed. Ah, a Daffy man. I was beginning to fell a kinship already.
While Stefan had good things to say about Daffy Duck, he was less than kind in the subject of Rush Limbaugh. He didn't side much with the Republican Party he informed me, and felt Limbaugh was too much an "old white conservative." From our discussion on the subject I concluded Stefans politics lay around the middle of the road, liberal area. I further queried Stefan on his religious views. He was undecided on the existence of God, but admitted to Jewish upbringing. A young Jew at odds with his faith. There's a Woody Allen film in there somewhere.
As we talked I sensed a dark side to Stefan, as if he'd been enlightened to the pain life can present you with through some great physical trauma. And it turned out I was correct. At one point, while wrestling with some friends Stefan had felt the agonizing anguish of an elbow to the solar plexus. Ooof! That smarts just thinking about it.
But Mr. Judelman was not without his easygoing side. Asked about his favorite liquor, Stefan claimed to be a vodka fan. The drink of the working man, I thought. An evening vodka is just as much a part of blue-collar life as late night television and wife beating. However, being underaged, it's certain Stefan has never actually touched the stuff.
Time was running short and we both had places to be, so I decided to finish up on a comfortable note. "What kind of music don't you like." Predictably, country music was his reply. I say predictably since it's the same answer we'd all give. Hell, it's the only sane answer. While we were on the subject, Stefan did profess a love for Latin and salsa music, a surprising interest for one so young. Stefan went on to note his involvement in the jazz band at Garfield High. Like everyone in this town, Stefans's a musician. Oh well, I decided not to hold it against him.
And with that final question the interview was over. I watched as Stefan Judelman walked down the hallway and disappeared around the corner. An interesting young man, I mused. And somehow, I knew we would meet again!
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