Comments for My So-Called Penis http://forbisthemighty.com/blog The blog that strokes itself Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:38:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 Comment on My heart belongs to Daddy by John Saleeby http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/02/my-heart-belongs-to-daddy/comment-page-1/#comment-28729 John Saleeby Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:38:45 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1373#comment-28729 Wow! Has this story taken the Net by storm or what? This crazy couple will be the Most Famous People In America by Dinner Time! I'm totally PSYCHED! Wow! Has this story taken the Net by storm or what? This crazy couple will be the Most Famous People In America by Dinner Time! I’m totally PSYCHED!

]]> Comment on Flute this! by Wil http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/flute-this/comment-page-1/#comment-28704 Wil Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:24:08 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1371#comment-28704 OF COURSE I'M CALLING THE DUDE FROM LETHRO TULL A HOMO!!! I'M NOT BLIND! OF COURSE I’M CALLING THE DUDE FROM LETHRO TULL A HOMO!!! I’M NOT BLIND!

]]> Comment on Flute this! by John Saleeby http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/flute-this/comment-page-1/#comment-28698 John Saleeby Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:18:21 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1371#comment-28698 Hey, man, are you calling that Jethro Tull dude a homo? Cause I'll kick your ass, man! AQUALUNG ROCKS!!! YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!! I hate Jethro Tull. Hey, man, are you calling that Jethro Tull dude a homo? Cause I’ll kick your ass, man! AQUALUNG ROCKS!!! YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!

I hate Jethro Tull.

]]> Comment on The sad state of Bill Mantlo by John Saleeby http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/the-sad-state-of-bill-mantlo/comment-page-1/#comment-28073 John Saleeby Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:23:32 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1367#comment-28073 I see guys in that kind of shape at work all the time. I remember that asshole Bill Maher saying that we should just let people like that die. Fuck Bill Maher. But I feel really bad about hitting Mantlo and driving away like that. I had been drinking and I was afraid I'd get in trouble! I felt obliged to make a joke after getting all grouchy about Bill Maher. Maybe I should have a few drinks and go driving around Maher's neighborhood. I read somewhere that he lives in Bel Aire . . . I see guys in that kind of shape at work all the time. I remember that asshole Bill Maher saying that we should just let people like that die. Fuck Bill Maher.

But I feel really bad about hitting Mantlo and driving away like that. I had been drinking and I was afraid I’d get in trouble!

I felt obliged to make a joke after getting all grouchy about Bill Maher. Maybe I should have a few drinks and go driving around Maher’s neighborhood. I read somewhere that he lives in Bel Aire . . .

]]> Comment on Fueling the creative spark. by John Saleeby http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/fueling-the-creative-spark/comment-page-1/#comment-27756 John Saleeby Sun, 29 Jan 2012 14:24:14 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1360#comment-27756 My brain has been removed from my skull and placed in a jar of fluid wired up to a device we call "The Comedy Machine". My body is put to work pedaling to generate the electric current it runs on. My brain has been removed from my skull and placed in a jar of fluid wired up to a device we call “The Comedy Machine”. My body is put to work pedaling to generate the electric current it runs on.

]]> Comment on Fueling the creative spark. by Wil http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/fueling-the-creative-spark/comment-page-1/#comment-27610 Wil Sun, 29 Jan 2012 03:26:02 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1360#comment-27610 Actually, John, I have to say I've been fairly impressed at your ability to maintain your creative forces in your greatly advanced age. Doubtless, physically, sexually, you're probably barely functional, but comedically you seem to be going strong. Actually, John, I have to say I’ve been fairly impressed at your ability to maintain your creative forces in your greatly advanced age. Doubtless, physically, sexually, you’re probably barely functional, but comedically you seem to be going strong.

]]> Comment on Fueling the creative spark. by John Saleeby http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/fueling-the-creative-spark/comment-page-1/#comment-27593 John Saleeby Sun, 29 Jan 2012 02:07:18 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1360#comment-27593 I'm funnier the Older I get. Like, these kids today with their tattoos! I don't know if they're people or Picassos! But let tell you, at my age it takes more time for me to get out of bed than to get a woman into bed! Thank you! Do I need a diaper? Depends! Get it? Depends! Fuck you! Goddam kids! When I was your age I was digging mass graves at Gettysburg! Depends! It's a joke! You cocksuckers! Bring out that Singer with the big tits! I'm finished! I’m funnier the Older I get. Like, these kids today with their tattoos! I don’t know if they’re people or Picassos! But let tell you, at my age it takes more time for me to get out of bed than to get a woman into bed! Thank you! Do I need a diaper? Depends! Get it? Depends! Fuck you! Goddam kids! When I was your age I was digging mass graves at Gettysburg! Depends! It’s a joke! You cocksuckers! Bring out that Singer with the big tits! I’m finished!

]]> Comment on Accessory characters by John Saleeby http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/accessory-characters/comment-page-1/#comment-27494 John Saleeby Sat, 28 Jan 2012 18:34:45 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1357#comment-27494 Well, you're a dope. You know those cute little Comedy Characters in my Acid Logic articles who come in from out of nowhere to make a little joke and then disapear? I spend hours on those people and they are as real to me as my Family and Friends. Just this morning I was working on a little Italian Man who works as one of Dario Argento's Production Assistants in my forthcoming article. Although he is unidentified in the article, his name is Fredi Guglioni and he is a thirty eight year old alcohalic from Naples with a tattoo of Donald Duck on his left arm. In 1997 he fell in front of hippo in a Circus parade and was squashed while Dario Argento cried "SOMEBODY GET THIS SHIT ON FILM!!!" Remember this while reading my article and that joke will be even funnier. Oh, wait. I decided to cut that joke out. Oh, well - Fuck you Fredi! Well, you’re a dope. You know those cute little Comedy Characters in my Acid Logic articles who come in from out of nowhere to make a little joke and then disapear? I spend hours on those people and they are as real to me as my Family and Friends. Just this morning I was working on a little Italian Man who works as one of Dario Argento’s Production Assistants in my forthcoming article. Although he is unidentified in the article, his name is Fredi Guglioni and he is a thirty eight year old alcohalic from Naples with a tattoo of Donald Duck on his left arm. In 1997 he fell in front of hippo in a Circus parade and was squashed while Dario Argento cried “SOMEBODY GET THIS SHIT ON FILM!!!” Remember this while reading my article and that joke will be even funnier. Oh, wait. I decided to cut that joke out. Oh, well – Fuck you Fredi!

]]> Comment on Solar flare heads to earth – but hey, don’t worry. by John Saleeby http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/solar-flare-heads-to-earth-but-hey-dont-worry/comment-page-1/#comment-26292 John Saleeby Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:07:56 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/solar-flare-heads-to-earth-but-hey-dont-worry/#comment-26292 That's weird - I died of a sudden heart attack in my apartment this morning and here I am checking my email and stuff just like I ordinarily would. Only now I'm thinking about biting somebody on the ass and eating that sweet sweet butt meat! I'm also in psychic communication with the billions of twenty foot long ants preparing to attack New Orleans. Apparently it's my job to ride the King Of The Ants during the Final Assault waving the Black Flag of Satan. I'll get to New Orleans flying on a forty foot Mosquito. Solar Flares are a GIANT FUCKING BLAST!!! I'll see you later, I'm gonna go eat some ass before my forty foot Mosquito gets here! DEATH IS MY GOD!!! DEATH IS MY HOLY SACRAMENT!!! JOSH HILL FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR!!! SATAN LOVES "SUPERBAD"!!! That’s weird – I died of a sudden heart attack in my apartment this morning and here I am checking my email and stuff just like I ordinarily would. Only now I’m thinking about biting somebody on the ass and eating that sweet sweet butt meat!

I’m also in psychic communication with the billions of twenty foot long ants preparing to attack New Orleans. Apparently it’s my job to ride the King Of The Ants during the Final Assault waving the Black Flag of Satan. I’ll get to New Orleans flying on a forty foot Mosquito.

Solar Flares are a GIANT FUCKING BLAST!!!

I’ll see you later, I’m gonna go eat some ass before my forty foot Mosquito gets here!

DEATH IS MY GOD!!! DEATH IS MY HOLY SACRAMENT!!! JOSH HILL FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR!!! SATAN LOVES “SUPERBAD”!!!

]]> Comment on Apple Genuises by John Saleeby http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/2012/01/apple-genuises/comment-page-1/#comment-25486 John Saleeby Sat, 21 Jan 2012 22:08:33 +0000 http://forbisthemighty.com/blog/?p=1351#comment-25486 "The Genius Bar" - I imagine a Dive in Manhatten full of guys sitting around mumbling stuff like "I'm the best novelist on Earth and I can't get anybody to read my stuff! Shit! Another beer, please." "I'm the best bass player in Rock and those assholes kicked me out of their fucking band! Crap! More Jack Daniels, please!" "I'm the funniest guy in the history of Stand Up but I can't get stage time at The Improv or The Comic Strip! Fuck! More Quervo, please!" Bars in New York are full of assholes like that. “The Genius Bar” – I imagine a Dive in Manhatten full of guys sitting around mumbling stuff like “I’m the best novelist on Earth and I can’t get anybody to read my stuff! Shit! Another beer, please.” “I’m the best bass player in Rock and those assholes kicked me out of their fucking band! Crap! More Jack Daniels, please!” “I’m the funniest guy in the history of Stand Up but I can’t get stage time at The Improv or The Comic Strip! Fuck! More Quervo, please!”

Bars in New York are full of assholes like that.

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