The orchestral horns

Lately, I’ve been getting into composing music using the orchestral instruments of the Logic software program. Obviously, I’m familiar with the sounds of the orchestra, but having a chance to really get in there and play with them is in education. I have these moments of “oh, so that’s what a timpani sounds like” etc.

Today I was really enjoying the orchestral horns. There really capable of much more than you initially think. For instance, the trombone has that famous kind of guttural rumble (often used in Dixieland music) but it can also create a very smooth soft tone. Even the tuba can create a very lyrical tone.

In a way, I think each musical instrument is like making love to a woman. Sometimes you’ll be with a woman, gently building the passion of your lovemaking, and she will climax, making a sound not unlike a trombone. Kind of like a “BBBLLAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!” sound. But other women are more like a trumpet. When the passion finally explodes within them, they make sort of a sharp, high-pitched, “FFLLAARRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!!!” scream. Still others are more like a tuba — upon satisfaction, they make a low pitched, kind of “HHHHHRROOONNNKKKKKKK!!”

Anyway, just wanted to share my thoughts with you.

3 Responses to “The orchestral horns”


  1. John Saleeby

    My women always have a rubber ball gag in their mouth and I can’t be bothered to make em “climax” so none of this makes a bit of sense to me.

  2. Wil

    This is why you’re not a musician.

  3. John Saleeby

    Oh, and that rubber ball gag – It’s a basketball. When I’m finished with em I throw em out the window and watch em bounce around the street.