Solar flare heads to earth – but hey, don’t worry.

This caught my eye: LA Times – Solar storm sends charged particles toward Earth

A massive explosion on the sun’s surface has triggered the largest solar radiation storm since 2005 and has unleashed a torrent of charged plasma particles toward Earth, though the threat to satellites, power grids and other high-tech hardware is believed to be manageable, scientists said.

Radiation from the explosion arrived at Earth within hours of the flash, said Doug Biesecker, a physicist with NOAA’s Space Weather Prediction Center in Boulder, Colo. A burst of charged plasma particles is expected to reach Earth by 6 a.m. Tuesday. That charged plasma is traveling uncommonly fast, making the 93-million-mile trip to Earth in about 34 hours, rather than taking two or more days, as is usually the case, Biesecker said.

The article is worth reading more for what it doesn’t say. No mention of the possibility that a massive solar plasma flare could cause the recently dead to rise from their graves and hunger for the flesh of the living. No concern about the great likelihood that solar plasma radiation will create giant sized insects who will travel the countryside searching for human victims whom they can literally pull apart with their pincher claws.

No mention of these very real possibilities.

And the media wonders why nobody trusts them anymore.

1 Response to “Solar flare heads to earth – but hey, don’t worry.”


  1. John Saleeby

    That’s weird – I died of a sudden heart attack in my apartment this morning and here I am checking my email and stuff just like I ordinarily would. Only now I’m thinking about biting somebody on the ass and eating that sweet sweet butt meat!

    I’m also in psychic communication with the billions of twenty foot long ants preparing to attack New Orleans. Apparently it’s my job to ride the King Of The Ants during the Final Assault waving the Black Flag of Satan. I’ll get to New Orleans flying on a forty foot Mosquito.

    Solar Flares are a GIANT FUCKING BLAST!!!

    I’ll see you later, I’m gonna go eat some ass before my forty foot Mosquito gets here!

    DEATH IS MY GOD!!! DEATH IS MY HOLY SACRAMENT!!! JOSH HILL FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR!!! SATAN LOVES “SUPERBAD”!!!