Brain allocation

It seems to me one of the great impediments to the progress of mankind is the poor allocation of cognitive resources. Let’s consider Einstein and his theory of relativity. Einstein developed his theory but the knowledge was useless when it was just within his head. He had to explain it to people, they had to think about it and come to understand it, then they had to pass the information on to others and see that the process was repeated, innumerable times, until, finally society was able to benefit from Einstein’s original idea. That’s a lot of pointless repetition. It also meant that a lot of people were thinking about an idea that had already been hashed out in someone else’s mind when they could have been thinking about their own unique ideas.

In essence, it’s like millions of computers separately working on the same problem, when they could all be working on individual problems.

What are some solutions to this dilemma? I propose that an exceptionally nimble and erudite thinker such as, oh, I don’t know… let’s say myself, be given access to the cognitive abilities of the rest of the human race. I could continue thinking the groundbreaking and profound thoughts I present here at this blog, but on an amplified level. The masses of humans who normally would be sitting around thinking about their favorite brand of TV dinner or what Lindsay Lohan is up to would effectively have their brains reallocated to be used as resources for my thought processes. This seems to be the only guaranteed method of human advancement.

By the way, what is up with Lindsay Lohan? Girl can’t stay out of trouble for more than five minutes! If you ask me, she just needs to get thrown in prison and start peeling potatoes for 20 hours a day so she can learn the value of hard work!

4 Responses to “Brain allocation”


  1. John Saleeby

    I only made it through about 20% of that article.

  2. AnonymousZ

    Shame on you John. You should know by now that the Forbis punchline always comes at the end. Forget the 80% that comes before.
    AZ

  3. John Saleeby

    Comedy Hipsters like me who were influenced by Spike Milligan and put the punchline before the set up sneer at Borscht Belt hacks like Wil Forbis!

  4. John Saleeby

    Hey, Wil – See ya at Hanson’s!